Boulevard of broken dreams
by Margot1121
Summary: Takes place at the beginning of 2x14. What if Blair hadn't been interrupted by Dan when she was telling Serena about her New Year's Eve's secret? Ehy did Jack finally find Chuck? asked innocently the blonde. BUM, a thud sounded in the Blair's head. Here, all her problems and thoughts synthesized in a single sentence, or better in two words...Chuck and Jack.
1. The bitter admission

**Title:** Boulevard of broken dreams

**Description:** Takes place at the beginning of 2x14. What if Blair hadn't been interrupted by Dan when she was telling Serena about her New Year's Eve's secret...

**A/N:** Hi, that's my first story so please be nice! :D

I apologize in advance for any typos or grammar mistakes, unfortunately English isn't my first language. I hope you enjoy my fic, I don't know if it'll become a multi-chap story or stay a one shot, that's up to you!

Please review and tell me what you think.

* * *

«B! OMG I missed you so much! »cried Serena in the middle of the hallway.

«Not as much I missed you» said Blair while she fondly hugged her best friend.

«Ehy did Jack finally find Chuck? »asked innocently the blonde.

BUM, a thud sounded in the Blair's head.

Here, all her problems and thoughts synthesized in a single sentence, or better in two words...Chuck and Jack.

The first was the man who created in her such a whirlwind of emotions, anger, hate, concern, but, among these, only one stood out: her almost unconditional love for him.

The second, unknown a few weeks ago, was able to arouse in Blair nothing but disgust and abhorrence.

_''Ahhh if only Serena knew''_ brooded Blair _''I don't think she would name that insect so easily''_.

Her heartbeat significantly rushed only by the New Year's Eve' memory, Blair couldn't stop think about it, with time the memory didn't fade and the guilt was even multiplied.

_'' OK I had absolutely tell somebody this secret or I'll totally freak out! Only Serena could understand and comfort me...at least I hope so! Strength and courage Blair, you can do this.''_

«S, I need to talk to you, I did a really stupid thing...»

Immediately Serena interrupted her friend «What did you do B? Does this involve Chuck? » she guessed, suspicious by the lack of answer to her previous question.

«I told Chuck that I love him...» Blair sighed, deciding to start to ease the conscience with the least of her sins.

«OMG B, that's amazing! » smiled a relief Serena.

«AMAZING? No it's terrible! Not only he didn't say it back, but he disappeared for an entire month! » Blair almost shouted, irritated by the Serena's reaction, optimistic as usual and ready to hope for the best.

There was nothing good in the situation, like in her entire life; never a scheme or a project that were fully realized, never a stable relationship that could entirely erase her trust issues or the abandon's ones, for not mention her self-esteem, or better her lack of it...

«Hum no, don't worry B! I'm sure that Chuck loves you back and trust me, he spent his holidays thinking of you..» the blonde continued to babble, only stopped by the little brunette who finally had manage to come out of the maze that her thoughts were.

«I wouldn't say Serena...but I didn't confess everything and I don't even know if I have the strength to do it...»

«What are you saying? You know you can always count on me for everything, friends don't judge but they only forgive» and to stress her point Serena smiled encouraging.

Blair, with teary eyes, consoled by her friend's word, finally started to talk, but right then the bell rang...

Decided to share her secret, the little brunette dragged as soon as she could the taller friend into an empty room.

«Blair what are you doing? » Serena hissed « we need to go to class! I know how much you hate to be late...»

«Hush Serena! We'll skip this class, I don't care...I can't wait, it's too important! » Blair angrily whispered.

_''It has to be really bad if she is willing to skip the class'' _Serena reflected while she followed her friend among the empty desks.

The silence was broken by a dry sob that Blair was trying in vain to choke, followed by many others, the worry raised in Serena who immediately hugged her best friend's little trembling form.

«Shhh B, calm down now, I'm with you and together will fix everything...»

«No Serena, nothing in this situation is fixable...there is no remedy» Blair continued with her eyes red and swollen from crying, «Chuck isn't himself, he arrived from Thailand this morning, unconscious! I know how much he really suffers for his loss, he thinks he's all alone now and he feels like the whole world betrayed him...»

«B slows down, so also 'this terrible mistake' involves Chuck? » Serena perplexed questioned.

« I slept with his uncle Jack, S! And I regret it so much! I-I don't know what to do! If Chuck ever finds this out he'll think that I'm a slut and even worse, he'd suppose that even I had betrayed and quitted on him. That's the last thing I want, because it's so untrue...I love him more than I love myself, so much it consumes me».

Finally Blair confessed her guilt and hysterical tears vent her.

Serena, totally shocked by the confession, rushed to comfort her beloved friend...

«Shhh Blair... stop crying, now we'll try to work this out...we can do it because we are together! » the blonde whispered while she stroked her friend's hair, «I just don't understand, h-how that happened? »

When Blair heard the question, she broke again to weep and clung more into her friend's embrace, so Serena shook her head for telling to not answer, seen the brunette's bad reaction.

The two girls remained still, gripping to each other, sat on the cold floor of that desolate room, lost in their mind and thoughts, brought back to reality only by the ring of the bell that indicated the end of the first cheerful day after Christmas holidays.

With no word, both of them stood up and went out, wishing they could leave there all the secrets that haunted so much...

But they knew it wasn't possible so the two walked down a _boulevard of broken dreams_.

What the Queens didn't know was the hidden camera that had recorded them for the entire time in that room not so empty.

BEEP-BEEP!

B took her phone and read the text, right then she turned it off with a fake smile on her face.

She was Blair Waldorf, Queen B, she would allow none to see her crying or collapsing, so with her head high and a proud walk, she entered in the car, crashing the phone in her purse.

* * *

**Here even the walls talk, true B? Queen not only of Constance but also of hearts?**

**You know what I mean.**

**XOXO Gossip Girl**


	2. The five stages of Grief

The darkness surrounded him and he embraced it almost with joy.

The black, somber, deep and endless, synonymous for oblivion, was that the billionaire craved.

If just awakened from his ''sleep'' induced by alcohol and drugs, he wasn't aware about his life, he'd be ready to face the day, but few minutes cleared up his hazy mind.

He remembered the lack of good reasons to get out of his bed.

"_Am I in my bed? How is it possible? Even if of dubious reliability, my last memories were about Thai, or better about four girls , opium and a good dose of Ya Ba in Thailand…_''

He tried to focus and remember how he returned to New York, who cared to bring him back here.

He wasn't honestly a very sociable person, ready to extend his contacts …unless these were just for one night.

His real and important relationships could be counted on the hand's fingers, maybe two if he considered also the people he pretended to be indifferent.

**Blair** – his stomach contracted and his heart ached to her name's mere mention- for sure wouldn't be happy to talk or even see him…. the way he treated her or the things he said, _again_!Was this the time she shut him out of her life for good?

He ran the hand through his dark hair and shook his head, squeezing his eyes to not let fall the bitter tears.

There was **Nate**. After his father's funeral he was disappeared, he neither called him nor passed by.

Chuck had expressly said, or better shouted, to want to be left alone, this was loyalty and respect for his desire or just carelessness ?

**Serena**, his new stepsister, had never had a real fondness for him, because of the way he keep to treat Blair or just for his usual behavior …she would avoid him for one more reason, the manner he spoke to Humprey at the funeral.

He had every right to do that, he couldn't bear that some Rufus Humprey and that slut of his stepmother lacked respect in that way to his father, a few hours after his dea-

STOP! His thought could NOT aground there, in a region as forbidden as it's ridiculous.

It was impossible Big Bad Bart Bass was dead!

He was powerful, rich, invulnerable, a mere car could do nothing, NOTHING!

" So why are you here all alone and depressed Chuck?"

« Don't think about it, don't think about it, it's NOT real! » he murmured.

Chuck Bass sat on his bed, in his city, didn't ever feel less himself… glassy eyes, hunched shoulders and low head.

He had refused to cry, he didn't shed a tear since he was seven.

Bart sternly scolded him when he whimpered for his skinned knees in the park.

« Real men don't cry and complain, Charles! Put yourself together immediately! »

There it was his childhood, synthesized in a few but significant moments, a single father and too severe for this, who could present him everything but he never gave anything.

Chuck suddenly realized, he was in denial, the first of the five stages of grief.

So Chuck was mourning and you suffer just for the loss of someone you care, he without knowing how and why, managed to love his father.

He was an orphan, with no actual relatives…he couldn't pass this moment alone.

He grabbed his phone and called the only possible person, holding his breath for the fear of a rejection, maybe a phone slammed in the face.

She picked up but didn't say a word, Chuck could heard her gasp.

When he realized that she wouldn't speak, he took courage and told «Blair…»

After pronouncing her name aloud, he felt lighter, content.

« Blair I know I have no right to talk to you but, but Blair I don't know what to do if you hate me…please…I know I don't deserve it, I **know** but I beg y- » he couldn't continue because of a lump in the throat that held the sobs.

Chuck tried to calm himself breathing deeply and when he was going to speak again the call was over.

An uncontrolled rage came over his body, replacing the tears.

He didn't imagine she could really hang up without listening to him, how she dared?

How could she do this to him?

No one forsook a beloved one in such a needy moment…and she should know that the situation was really bad if he was willing to **BEG**!

Simple, she didn't love him anymore, or more probably she had never loved him..

Came to this conclusion, every rational thought just disappeared, with rage he hurled everything that was handy until the whole room became a mess.

When Chuck drained off all the adrenaline, he collapsed against the wall.

Inattentive because of his thoughts, Chuck heard only several minutes later the urgent knocking that he was going to ignore but a very familiar voice made him change his mind.

«CHUCK, OPEN IMMEDIATELY THIS DAMN DOOR! What happened? Are you hurt? ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW CHUCK BASS!»

Chuck ,with his heart pounding, rushed to open the door and the view was heavenly.

«You came…»he sighed and for the first time in ages Chuck felt content.

Blair threw herself into his arms, almost chocking him, but Chuck couldn't do anything but surround her thin waist and smile into her lovely nape.

He was just savoring the moment when he felt his shirt moist and realized that Blair was crying.

«S-sorry Chuck, b-but when you called me I-I never heard you like that and then my phone was dead! I decided to come here directly and for at least ten minutes all I could heard was screaming and crushing. I was so scared for you! » Blair explained.

Chuck let out a breath that he didn't even know to hold. His Blair was here for him, like always. He smiled softly and looked at her right in the eyes, he wouldn't doubted her ever again.

«I'm sorry I scared you, I didn't mean t-»but early Chuck has been interrupted by a scold.

«Chuck! » she yelled with wild eyes «What did you do in here?! It looks like has passed an hurricane! »

«You're right, I couldn't stop, it was like I was wrapped in a rage's fog»

«Oh now I understand…»

Chuck frowned trying to figure out what Blair was meaning and immediately she explained her words.

«It's clear Chuck, you've moved to the _**Anger Step**_, it's the needful process to grieve»

«Umm yes, you're definitely right…» Chuck said even if his thoughts reminded him the real reason of his breakdown.

«Come on Chuck, we have to clean up! At least we should remove some shards otherwise the maids couldn't even get in! » thus Blair took an envelope and began pick up but Chuck stopped her almost soon.

«Noo, what are you doing? You ,cleaning? Let it be, the staff will think about it»

«Absolutely not Chuck, it's essential that you contribute! »

«Why? » he scoffed

«Because of the therapy, you basshole! Have you never read a psychology book? » she rolled her eyes «To remove the disorder in your mind, first you have to start from the material one! »

She seemed to quote a university manual, so Chuck laughed genuinely for the first time after who knows how long, only thanks to her…

They shared a warm glance and Blair offered a pair of gloves and an envelopes to a billionaire.

In a comfortable silence they began to clean the room, when the eight hundred dollars Louboutin hit the enormous dresser and broke, making Blair fell to the floor.

Chuck turned immediately for the noise and tried to catch Blair before she crushed on the shards but he was too far.

« BLAIR! »Chuck rushed taking her beautiful face in his hands «Are you alright? Where are you hurt? »

Blair got up all sore, embarrassed by her clumsiness and furious for having broke her beloved shoes.

«Arghhhhh my just brought Louboutin! OUCH! » Blair grumbled

«Where do you feel pain? » asked a worried Chuck but he got for an answer just a glare.

«Come on, I promise I'll buy you another thousand pair of shoes but now tell me where you are hurt»

«My left wrist» Blair finally sighed and when Chuck came closer for observing the arm, he noticed her glassy eyes.

His heart clenched at the sight so he asked quietly « Can you move it? »

«I think so…» but after several attempts Chuck declared «It's broken, let's get you to the hospital and please keep the wrist still as you can. No more pain for you, ok? »

Unable to contradict him she let herself lead to the limo but her loudly thoughts changed soon the situation.

« Hey, I'm Blair Waldorf ! I can't break anything in my body and surely I don't wear any cast! So take me home right now or you're going to regret this Chuck Bass! »

«Pff I don't think so, now get your amazing ass in the limo and prepare yourself to be in my custody, because there is no way I let you out of my sight. So move! »

Blair smiled unconsciously and after few minutes the two teenagers arrived to the Lennox Hill.

* * *

Endless rows of sick people more or less grave and only five minutes later Blair was already visited, who knew how… or better who knew _how much._

«Chuck I told you that wasn't necessary, just take me home»

«Please don't again- Oh doctor I hope you have these X-rays…I don't like repeat myself»

«Yes, Mr Bass I have already the results and it's like I suspected. Miss Waldorf your left wrist is broken so you have to put the cast»

Pouts, scoldings and twenty minutes later Blair was sitting in Chuck's arms directed to the Waldorf penthouse.

* * *

«Ok Chuck now you can go ,so finally I will be alone…» she mumbled the last phrase's part

« Alone? Don't even think about it...Let's call someone, Serena? » all serious and focus he took his phone for searching the number.

« I think you're overreacting now I'm under painkillers, I'm perfectly fine and I don't need a guardian so stop treat me like an invalid or a child!»  
« what do you think if I call the girls? You can do a _soiree_, you love them» Chuck smiled

« You're unbearable, really a pain in the ass, you basshole»

« I'm calling-»

« **You **could stay…seems you use some company too…»her eyes were full of rejection's fear, but no more words were spoken and the two cuddled on the couch.

Breakfast at Tiffany's was playing in the background while Chuck gently stroked Blair's arm until they fall asleep.

Unlike his last awakening, Chuck was warm and cozy, surrounded by what was undoubtedly his favorite perfume, subtle but intense: Blair's scent.

Because of his movements, the girl woke up and greeted him with affection.

Chuck was lost into her spectacular eyes, dark deep chocolate brown globes, full of love.

He couldn't contain himself anymore and softly rested his lips on hers, kissing her.

_**The best awakening ever **_**– **That was the thought of both.

«Did you sleep well? »smiled Blair

«Sure I did» he chuckled and resumed to kiss her, finally feeling happy and peaceful after too time.

They were interrupted by the elevator's ring, so Blair stood up to "welcome" her unexpected guest.

Her big smile and happiness immediately disappeared, when she saw the visitor .

«Miss me princess? I'm sure you did…so what do you want to do now? Maybe me, _ again_? » he said with his usual grin

«Jack» Blair breathed with wide eyes.

* * *

**Oh – oh B it looks like your little happiness' bubble is going to burst…all the secrets will be revealed?**

**XOXO Gossip Girl**


End file.
